cheap guy makeover

01Jul04

fuck queer eye for the straight guy. i don’t want to make my straight pals look gay, i just want to make sure y’all look a little hip. i have just the plan for a little summer “makeover” that’s not just cool, it’s cheap and easy too! (raku de iides nee!) the only trick is that you need to act fast, summer’s already here and a few of these deals are only good for a very limited time.

first, protect yourself. fuckin a bros, we’re gettin old. if we’re gonna keep spending time outdoors we gotta do a little preventative maintenance to keep lookin good. the word moisturizer is so fuckin girly and companies know it. now they all sell “face protector” for guys. it’s just fuckin moisturizer but without any stinky ass perfume in it. go down to walgreens and buy some. it’s usually next to shaving cream. get some, for the cheap stuff, i like the nivea kind. if you wanna spend a few more bux, pick some up at the body shop when your girl drags you in there. rub some all over your face when you’re shaving to leave the house in the morning. it’s easy. it’ll keep you from gettin burnt, and in a few months you will seriously look a few years younger.

second, dudes don’t buy new clothes, especially tshirts, often enough. i’m just as guilty of this as you are. you don’t want just any tshirts, you want cool ones, which are hard to find and usually they’re too expensive. threadless is here to help. for the next week or so, all their tshirts are only 10 bucks! They print limited runs of shirts designed by underground artists, so chances are you’ll be the only guy in your city, let alone on your block, with one. their sizes run normal, not big. so if you should wear a large, buy a large not a medium.

since it’s summer time you all need a pair of flip flops too. they’re comfy, laid back, and every girl loves a man in flip flops, jeans and a tshirt. 20 bucks will get you a cool pair of reefs or somethin. get a simple comfortable pair and you’ll find yourself wearing them more and more. if you don’t feel like going to a store, swell has tons for a good price.

lastly, as all the champs know, drink tons of water. you might think you drink enough of it, but you lose so much when it’s hot out you might as well drink more. it keeps you looking young and healthy and you’re usually happier when you’re well hydrated too. and it’s friggin free man.

see? it’s painless. less than 50 bucks, no girly stuff, barely any shopping and you’ll look hot. the chicks will thank me for this.

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