what star wars teaches us about politics

02Nov04

although ohio is theoretically still too close to call, i’m conceding defeat. i don’t think kerry is gonna be able to take the presidency. however i was completely wrong about why kerry lost. before i thought it was all about issues. it wasn’t about issues at all. it was because he’s too good. i don’t actually think kerry is too good, but he fights like a good guy. it’s going to be easy to explain in terms of star wars, cuz i don’t know how else to say it.

now that we basically have the whole star wars backstory (we don’t actually need to see episode 3 to know how the whole thing plays out) we can see just how intricate, and far thinking the dark lords’ plan was. it involved many factions in many places. there are decoys and deception and outright lies. the dark side are like david blaine – they’re masters of misdirection and they’re assholes.

the good guys, being the sweet innocent good guys that they are never see what’s going on, and when they finally do recognize one or two of the things the bad guys are doing, they try to stop them by fighting fair. this never works. so the dark side beats the jedis into the ground until they’re just a raggedy band of freedom fighters. the empire grows stronger and stronger, dominating more of the universe and worrying less about crushing the rebels until the rebels are organized enough to pose a threat and take back their rightful place one tiny battle at a time.

karl rove will play the emperor, W will play vader (he wasn’t such a bad guy before he was president u know), clinton will play obi wan, of course.

the republicans did such a good job of misleading the american public through advertising and lying (the two are the same in many cases), that most people fell right into their trap. don’t believe me? listen to this week’s this american life. it’s eye opening. then go back and read lies and the lying liars who tell them if you haven’t already for more of the backstory from this real life fable.

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