that fateful monday

11Nov04

before i start into today’s story, let me first just say that my favorite medieval weapon is the trebuchet. how can you not love that crazy whipping catapult thingy? plus it’s a great word. and it’s my favorite microsoft screen font. ok

remember how i told you i had that sucky monday a few weeks ago? well it kept coming back to haunt me, eventually leading to the end of my tenure at thefeature. yup, it was that bad. that day will live in infamy in my calendar. it’s gonna take me a while to erase away all the consequences, as well as all those 20/20 hindsight flashbacks. i can’t believe i made so many fuck ups in one day.

i guess if things are gonna go wrong, it might as well all happen at once. sure, all that darkness coming down at once makes things totally difficult and completely depressing, but it if you don’t get all mopey and curl into a little ball because of all the stress, that struggle can fuel you to take on new challenges. this has pretty much always been my attitude. when i was young my mom hated me for this. she couldn’t understand why i wouldn’t get upset or waste my time on regret. it made her furious. my dad and i called her a pessimist (one of the few things he and i agreed on), but she called herself a realist.

i don’t think i’m any less realistic than my mom or anyone else, i just understand that wasting time and energy worrying about how bad things are doesn’t actually make them any better. it doesn’t even make you feel better about them. i’m not saying i ignore or disregard my mistakes, i make every effort to catalog them and never repeat them or similar ones. but once i know the mistakes i made, i get to work making things right again.

luckily, i had a head start this time. i’ve been getting kinda ansy about my job anyway, so i already had my ear to the ground for new opportunities. after a few hours to get over the shock, i started setting wheels in motion. my goal is to have somethin lined up so i can start the new year with a new job. wish me luck.

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