that is SO 1988

16Apr05

dear men – especially gay men, but as a note to all men – the 80s are over. the 80s were an era plagued by the most unoriginal, worst designed pop culture ever. please, let them die. stop dressing like it’s 1988. the jcrew look from back then – big barn jackets, the square cut roll neck sweaters, uniformly faded light blue jeans (or jeans shorts) – is not flattering on anyone. and if you think it’s helping you hide that post college yuppie gut you’ve grown, you’re wrong.

and to all the gay men who still dress like some fucked up version of a tom of finland drawing, especially if that’s how you dress on a daily basis, please STOP. short shorts, a leather easy rider jacket and hiking boots does not make you look hot, even if you go to the gym every day. neither do any of those other awful styles we mistaken adopted in the 80’s. why did gay men think that dressing like guys in some drawings would actually look good? you don’t see straight guys (or gays for that matter) walking around dressed like batman everyday, do you? the 80’s are over. a $20 pair of levis and a bunch of thrift store t-shirts will give you a whole new wardrobe that will cost less than what you get for selling that awful leather jacket back to buffalo exchange.

oh and even though it’s an invention of the ’90s, what the fuck is up with utili-kilts, or any other non-tartan kilts? guys, just because it’s made out of heavy duty material doesn’t change the fact that it’s still a skirt. at least wear a real kilt, that has some class.

post script. in addition to the aforementioned fashion atrocities. lycra shorts or tights should never, ever be worn when not doing something extremely athletic (i.e. a long bicycle ride, a triathalon, etc). lycra shirts may be worn, but if they fit tight, you best have a good body that you’re showing off. this all goes back to the tom of finland drawings are not fashion suggestions paragraph from above.

also, bill cosby sweaters should not be worn by anyone, under any circumstances. they were a bad idea back then and they’re a worse idea now. lately i’ve only seen them on old men. what happened to old men wearing classic cardigans? please, start wearing those again.

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