you’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything better to do

26Apr05

i am not dying. i do not have any deadly diseases (that i know of) and i’m not going out and doing anything stoopid. so don’t worry. see, my mom and i talked the other day and she sort of berated me for not observing passover. i had asked how her seder was without any prompting, so it’s not as though i wasn’t acknowledging her convictions. just i’ve long since realized than any attachments i had to judaism were strictly cultural, not religious, and i don’t feel bad eating bread and rice in the spring (fuck atkins, i exercise).

plus, since there’s been a few shows about this sort of thing on and the family of a local cop who just died donated his organs, let me just say this as publicly as possible.

  1. i don’t want a jewish funeral. i know funerals are for the living but my mom is the only living person i care about who’s jewish. mom, be nice to me and all the other people i love, call all the people in my cell phone and get drunk in california wine country together with them or something. don’t mope in cleveland of all places. if funerals are for the living, then LIVE.
  2. i don’t want a jewish burial either. i don’t want to be preserved, i don’t want to be put in a casket. i don’t want rabbis i don’t know saying prayers over me. i don’t want to be buried in a cemetery, and besides, there’s just a plot for mom next to dad there.
  3. what i DO want: harvest what you can, burn the rest. donate every useful organ that’s left to people who actually need it and then cremate the remains. i’ve thought about this TONS. i’m morbid enough that i probably think about it every day. i think it’s the rightest thing to do when you pass on. i’ve worked hard to stay healthy, and i enjoy the fruits of my labor. it would be nice if others who haven’t been as lucky could get a little joy from it as well.
  4. what you do with the ashes is up to the survivors. keep em, scatter em somewhere, fire em out of a canon a la HST, grind them into dog food and feed em to maverick. whatever.

i’m sure in a few years at least some parts of this will change. i hope by then there will be an online repository to keep choices like these, or i’ll just have an rfid chip implanted with my medical records and living will instructions or something. anyhow, just something i had to get off my chest.

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