advertising poetry


quite possibly the best craigslist post i have ever written.

update i’ve sold the item, so i’ve pasted the text here for you since it’s no longer on CL:

Ahhhh the venerable gaggia espresso, predecessor and cheaper cousin to the ever-present gaggia coffee now invading peets and bed, bath and beyonds everywhere.

the gaggia espresso is like a young italian widow. she is dressed in all black, but stylishly. she’s had a rough time and is a bit dinged up. despite her hardships, she will keep going. she will make you coffee until the day you die, because like all italian women, she will live longer than you… and the whole time, she will make you pay. gaggias, like all italian machines have an italian woman’s temprament. they will do their work, but not without a little fight. the fight is why you love her so much. because when you finally give in and let her win, the results are heavenly.

once you give the gaggia what she wants – the right coffee grind, tamped to the right pressure, in a pre-heated porta filter, the coffee she will give you is rich and luxurious. we’re talking wild, crazy, destroy the whole house, make-up-after-big-fight-sex coffee. and you will curse her because it is so good, but causes you so much pain.


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