protec’ ya neck


i am very very sore from being tossed around like a ragdoll footfighting last night. craig better get done with his midterms soon so i can pick on someone my own size again. anyhow…

after footfighting last night, i ran into the owner of a local cafe. he, a normally calm and friendly guy, looked very agitated. so since we know each other pretty well, i figgered i’d stop to ask him if he was ok. he said he was pissed, and he didn’t know how to handle his anger. then he told me about his woes. people are fucking with his customers and his employees.

this guy owns a very popular cafe north of the panhandle. it’s usually so busy i find myself heading to other cafes because there’s no place left to sit or stand in his. now it seems his cafe has become a target. first there is at least one woman (there may be other people doing it too) who walks in, goes right up to the counter, empties the tip jar, and runs out. often right in front of the baristas.

well why don’t the baristas tell her to get the hell out before she even gets to the counter? she’s not totally stupid. she waits to pull these shenanigans on ones she doesn’t recognize. aka, the new folks. the way this cafe is set up, there is no easy exit from behind the counter to the door. unless you are an amazing vaulter, you aren’t going to get out in time to give chase to anyone doing this. the counters are very high, and the only exit from behind them is at the back of the cafe. thus every so often, the tips just walk away now.

what upsets the owner the most is this woman’s brazen-ness. he says she will look baristas right in the eye while stealing their (hard) earned money. even more brazen is the other new problem that’s cropping up at his cafe – laptop theft. an organized group of folks is now walking in, ripping laptops right out of people’s hands or off their tables and running off with them. they’re organized enough to have people either running interference at the exit or to have getaway vehicles. according to the cafe owner, they haven’t recovered a single laptop so far.

first i tried to calm the owner down by saying it’s the price of business for living / working in the city. none of us like the fact that stuff like this happens, and it sucks when it happens to someone you know (or to you), but we all know that this is not lake placid, population 3100, where if you stole my laptop i’d probably see you with it in less than a week.

then i asked, well why aren’t you or the laptop victims giving chase and beating the shit outta these people. and the owner, who has nice SF roots, says the criminals have won when they turn you into a criminal yourself. i argue back that no, the criminals have one when they know you will roll over and not fight back. he doesn’t believe in vigilantism. i grew up on batman and the punisher.

so some real world solutions for this problem. first: be aware of your surroundings people, and protect yourself and your stuff. seriously. i know you’re not so engrossed in your work that you don’t see people coming and out of the cafe. if you see people lurkin around or someone running toward you either grab onto your shit or jump up and get ready to lay the smack down. second: be a good neighbor. if someone else needs your help, don’t finish typing your sentence, jump up and help. third: it might be time to consider investing in a kensington cable lock for your laptop. most have “security slots” for these locks (all apples do). most of ’em can be picked with a bic pen, so it’s not a perfect solution, but it will sure stop a thief from picking your laptop up off the table and running off with it. finally: remember to back up. in the end stuff is just stuff. it’s your data that you can’t replace. if you keep a current backup somewhere, you’ll be able to recover the data you lost and find a suitable replacement for your rig on craigslist.


One Response to “protec’ ya neck”

  1. 1 The Primary Main Objective…

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