100 minute abs


so thanks to recent innovations from both the kickboxing instructors and one of the cronies, i have stumbled upon a crushing ab workout which i must say i think is workin wonders. i don’t have a super shredded six pack (yet) but i’m closer and what i do have is better than i ever had before – and that’s while i still sneak a cookie or two. so in the interest of public service to midsections everywhere, i share with you our seekrits. and warn you this is not for the faint of heart. both these things are hard and the hurt. also, i should warn you i’m not an exercise physiologist and i don’t play one on tv, so if you hurt yourself doing these, i’m sorry. tough crap. i warned you they weren’t for the faint of heart. do some sit ups or something til you get strong enough to try this shit. mmmm k?

the secret to both these is to never give the abs a break. you never totally lose tension. you don’t rest between sit ups. you’re squeezing the whole time, at least a little. got it?

first, the jack knifes. unless you already have abs of steel, you will suck at these for a while. don’t despair. keep at it and one day you’ll get em right and be all “dayummmm.” here’s the deal: you lie down on your back, hands stretched above your head, legs straight out with your feet off the ground. then you reach up with both your hands and feet, and touch your hands to your toes. in the beginning, this is about as good as you’ll get. notice most the dude’s back is still on the mat. also notice the dude’s legs are all the way down on the floor with his feet touching the ground after he’s done. this is how you do them when you’re weak. we all start out weak.

this dude is doing a bit better. when you get good at jack knifes, the only thing touching the floor when you come up is your ass. you lift your entire upper body up off the mat to touch your toes, not just your arms and shoulders. also, when you get good, you don’t let your feet hit the ground. ever. keeping constant tension on the abs is key here. try 3x 10 at first. make those good ones and then work up to more.

next are the twisting situps from hell. greg and i have been honing these and i think we’ve got it worked out. these work out all your ab muscles and your shoulders. dude they will make you look so buff. here’s the idea. you need a situp bench. one that declines back far enough that your back can be parallel to the floor and not be touching the bench, and one with a bar to hold your feet. we have the really excellent ones at the gym that look like an upside down V with a period if you look at them from the side. you also need a dumbell or some light loose plate. either way it needs to be something you can easily hold with both hands while sweating and crying in pain.

now the torture begins. climb on the bench and grab the weight with both hands and hold it close to your chest. (i’m warning you go light. i use 10 pounds and it’s still tough.) let yourself go back until your back is about parallel with the floor. your abs should still be squeezing at this point. if they aren’t then do go back that far. the object is to keep your abs engaged the whole time, remember? now slowly contract and sit up. as you come up push the weight out away from you until your arms are extended. as you feel you’re reaching the point in the situp where your abs don’t have to work anymore stop going up and twist to one side while still holding the weight out at arms length. as you turn back towards center pull the weight back in and go down. repeat, only next time twist the opposite direction (duh). each time you go down and come back up be sure to keep your back straight so you use your abs and not your back or hips to sit up. and yes, make sure you never go down so far that you’re letting your abs rest. using 10 lbs, i can do 16 at a time. at that point my shoulders hurt more than my abs. but since they make you so buff all over it’s so worth it to do as many sets as you can. oh yah, and once you start doing them right, every time you twist you’ll feel just one side of your abs engage and it’s so damn satisfying.


One Response to “100 minute abs”

  1. I was very pleased to find this web site. I need to to thank you for your time for
    this particularly wonderful read!! I definitely loved
    every part of it and I have you book-marked to check out new stuff on your site.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: