the new “f” word


since i know most of you, gay or not, do your best to avoid the foolish scenes that gays have a propensity for making, let me catch you up. remember when i posted about tv actors coming out and one of them was t.r. knight from grey’s anatomy? well the whole reason that dude came out was because the was a rumored scuffle on the set of the show. apparently two of the other male actors were having a bit of a scuffle and on (isaiah washington) calls t.r. a faggot to the other (patrick dempsey) in a clearly derogatory manner in an attempt to insult dempsey.

so knight comes out, isaiah stays quiet and all seems just fine. until the golden globes. apparently during the awards, when washington is asked about the original incident, he denies it and then makes a fool of himself trying to make gay jokes,. of course that’s when the entire fucking (the other F word) cast of the show as well as the producer step up to the plate and are like “WTF, dude, you called him a faggot. admit it. apologize. let’s move on.” and t.r. goes on ellen (the original out TV star) and talks about how much this whole thing has hurt him.

i haven’t heard anyone refer to me as a faggot since high school. so this whole issue is weird to me. i’m pretty accepting of people using the term gay as derogatory as long as they’re insulting a thing and not a person. however i can’t do it myself unless i’m with my closest friends who will understand completely how major it is that i’m using that word. i use the term homo to refer to gays in general, in a sortof take back the pejorative sense. but i’m not fully comfortable with that either. however i find the word faggot – and even fag – completely unacceptable. ever. not even for gays to use with or about each other. for some reason that word carries extra weight. it’s like the hard core insult.

i know that there are uber gay rights types who love the word and use it to “take it back” the same way many urban blacks have taken back nigger. but having observed how they use the n-word versus how gays use the f-word, it’s a completely different thing. in speech, blacks who are comfortable using the n-word use it as often as a new yorker uses fuck. it literally is about every 4th word. not even the most left leaning weirdo freak gay uses the word fag or faggot more than once a paragraph – TOPS. it’s just not the same. i’m not saying the nigger is any less derogatory, i’m saying that faggot cannot be reclaimed the same way. possibly because gays still have less-than-full rights in the US and are eschewed by all sides of american society, and our fight for equality is much younger than that of blacks.

which brings up another question. am i a total hypocrite? recently i’ve discovered that the word retarded is no longer ok. i understand not calling someone a retard, or at least i think i do. though i don’t know that art-tard, r-tard and fucktard are suitable replacements, even if the term fucktard IS funny as hell. but when something is backwards, stupid, and poorly thought out, why can’t we call that idea retarded? am i being totally blind here? i’m sure, even though retarded literally means stunted or slowed, that using it to describe a bad idea doesn’t insult mentally challenged people. but maybe since i’m not familiar with anyone in this situation i can’t understand the underlying hurt here.


One Response to “the new “f” word”

  1. 1 kokernutz

    i use the non-fuck f-word all the time. eep!

    also, do you think if the f^Hhomosexual gentleman called the african american gentleman the n-word, would there have been more of a punishment? there would have been far more press about it, me thinks.

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