relationshit

24May07

You see it on talk shows or even in the movies all the time. Some woman is in some horrid abusive relationship and she does nothing about it. every time the dude beats her down or insults her or locks her in the basement she just cries. then when the dude is slightly more relaxed she acts like everything is normal, even though she’s walking on eggshells. finally as the movie climaxes, she gathers up the courage to leave her abusive fuck of a man and just as he pulls some straw that broke the camel’s back move on her, she walks out. sometimes she has to fight the dude, sometimes she has to hide from him, but she always gets rid of him in the end. and invariably someone will ask her. why didn’t you leave sooner? and she will always answer, “because the good times were SO good” or “because he could be SO sweet.”

Well i am tired of being the beaten down chick. as of today the VTR and are through. when the VTR worked, it worked well. and then once it didn’t it was never the same. oh sure, we could patch things up for a few days, but then they would turn to shit again and i would suffer. for years, i refused to give up, remembering the good times we had. but what good is holding on to those memories? it is attachment. attachment leads to suffering. blah blah the buddha says blah.

this morning the VTR didn’t want to start up. it would turn over just fine, so i didn’t think it was the battery, but it sure didn’t want to fire. finally, with a little coaxing and a little choke, he finally started purring. so i went for a ride across the city to the outer mission to check out a new cafe (which is totally rip roarin awesome, btw). the entire time the VTR and i just could not get it together. it was acting fine, but we just were NOT on the same page. but i get there safe and sound and fine. there was an awesome on street parking spot about 10 meters from the cafe. it was behind a Ford STOMPER, but there was like 5 feet between the stomper and me and he had plenty of space in front, and i felt pretty good.

so bobby and i are sitting in the cafe not getting much work done and bobby is like “fuck it dude, i need to take the VTR for a ride.” so i hand him my jacket and helmet and key and he goes out. and he comes back and was like “i couldn’t start it. so i thought it was dead, but then i realized your clutch lever was hella loose and there’s a giant dent in your tank. i think someone knocked your bike over dude.” so i go out and sure enough someone, most likely that fuckin explorer, knocked the vtr over, and picked it up like nothin happened. so now it won’t start at all and there’s a fist sized dent in the tank. (the rest is miraculously fine.)

and so, i am done. i’m walking out. not on motorcycles, but on the VTR. this bike has been nothing but trouble to me for too long. i’ve already put some cash down on a beautiful hawk. i’ll just steal the money i been puttin aside for my ma’s retirement present (she’s not gonna retire for another year anyway, i can make it up by then i’m sure!) to pay the rest. And the VTR, well it’s up for grabs to anyone who wants a project bike. by all account most parts on it work fine. but the electrical system is shite and i’m sure a few other things could use some work after today’s little mishap.

i can’t wait to start a new life, with a new bike. one with great upgrades and known faults, and available replacement parts. one i can grow with in a loving, supportive relationship.

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